According to Jim

Pilot

Jim and Cheryl are the perfect middle class American couple. Happily married, living in a suburban house with two adorable (but loud) little girls and a baby boy, they really can't complain much about life – except for those couple fights that neither one can ever let go, like the time Jim shut the car door on Cheryl. This time the problem is their daughter, whom Cheryl can't leave alone on her first week at kindergarten. Jim says it's because she's a woman and decides to take Ruby himself, but he also can't leave her behind. Things heat up when Cheryl discovers that not only has he been hiding it from her, but he also changed Ruby's school without talking to her. Meanwhile, Jim and Cheryl try to help Andy make up with his girlfriend.

No Nookie

Cheryl convinces Jim to forgo sex until their anticipated romantic getaway. Will abstinence relight Jim's passion, or just drive him up the wall?

The Cat Came Back

Cheryl's 15 year-old cat Mr. Feeney dies and she wants Jim to bury it on the backyard, but Jim desperately wants to go to the Bears game. He sticks the cat in the garage freezer, planning on burying it after the game, but Cheryl finds out before he comes home. She is hurt that Jim doesn't listen to her nor care about a cat that has been longer with her than anything in her current life. Jim, feeling guilty, provides a proper funeral for Mr. Feeney and gets her a brand new dog, which she doesn't like very much at first, but starts to accept it later.

Anniversary

On Jim and Cheryl's 10th Anniversary, Jim pays Dana to buy him an anniversary gift to give to Cheryl. However, Dana buys a beautiful and touching charm bracelet, going over the spending limit in the process, and Cheryl finds out that all her anniversary gifts over the past ten years were bought by Dana.

Unruly Spirits

It's Halloween, and Cheryl has forbidden Gracie to go trick-or-treating. However, not wanting his daughter to miss out on the fun of the halloween spirit, he sneaks her out anyway. Meanwhile, Andy becomes convinced that he's being stalked by an ex-girlfriend.

The Crush

Jim sets Dana up with a guy so perfect that even Cheryl falls for him.

Cheryl's Old Flame

When Andy decides Dana is responsible for his inferiority complex, he asks her to join him in his therapy - but she falls for his therapist. Jim and Cheryl disagree about letting the kids to have their own TV; Jim admits to riding his motorcycle, breaking a promise he'd made to Cheryl earlier; and Ruby innocently divulges a secret of Cheryl's, exposing a broken promise of hers to Jim.

The Turkey Bowl

It's Thanksgiving and Jim and Andy are going bowling. Cheryl doesn't like the idea very much, so she sends the girls with him. Jim has a perfect game, but just when he was about to bowl his final strike, the power goes off and he is left with either waiting for it to return or giving up being perfect. Cheryl surprises him by bringing the Thanksgiving dinner to the alley so Jim's family and friends can witness his perfect game.

Andy's Girlfriend

Andy has a new girlfriend, and Cheryl wants Jim to treat her nicely because not only is she Andy's first girlfriend sine Carrie, but also Ruby's piano teacher. During dinner, Alicia tells Jim she's a vegetarian, and not only that, but also a Peckers fan – a big insult to Jim. Alicia and Andy break up and get back together, but she keeps turning down invitations to have dinner at Jim and Cheryl's. The reason? She doesn't like being around Cheryl. Jim rubs it on her face until Cheryl confronts Alicia, who reveals it's only because she thinks Cheryl's too perfect.

An According to Jiminy Christmas

Cheryl's mother is coming to visit them for Christmas and wants to stay at their house. Jim and Cheryl, however, prefer that she stayed at a hotel but don't know how to bring it up without insulting Maggie. After Jim tells Maggie that Cheryl wants her in a hotel, Maggie gives her grandma's pearl necklace to Dana. Cheryl's upset and goes to the airport to ask her mother' forgiveness, where she learns Dana only got the necklace because she doesn't have anyone in her life like Cheryl has Jim. Meanwhile, the girls think Andy is Santa.

The Bad Word

Cheryl leaves Jim in charge of their kids and some other kids who were there to play with the girls during a Bears game. The next day, one of the kids mom calls Cheryl saying her daughter dame home repeating a swearing she heard from Jim. Cheryl apologizes for him and Jim is insulted that she always automatically takes the other person's side. Cheryl apologizes, and not too later Grace repeats the exact same word. Jim decides to teach her not to repeat it by making her say it non stop until she can't say it again. It works. 5 days later, at Ruby's ballet presentation, she slips, falls and says the word, unmasking Jim's guilt.

Model Behavior

Jim and Cheryl agree to let Ruby model for a print ad as a one-time thing, but when the photographer calls her a natural, Jim gets Ruby an agent.

The Money

Cheryl decides to go behind Jim's back and loan Andy $1,000 for a downpayment on a new condo.

Blow-Up

When Cheryl has a revealing photo of herself taken as a Valentine gift to Jim, he proudly shows it to all his friends.

Racquetball

When Cheryl reminds Jim that she beat him at racquetball years ago, he claims he was only letting her win to gain her affections, so Cheryl challenges him to a no-holds-barred re-match.

Under Pressure

After Jim is diagnosed with high blood pressure, Cheryl decides to do everything to help him. She makes him special food, give him backrubs, and keeps asking about his day in order to free him from stress. But Jim doesn't know how to share so much and tells her an old financial problem of the firm. Cheryl stays up all night doing math to figure out a way out of the problem. Jim says she has a disease and is always trying to help people, which Cheryl responds with stop caring about him. In the end, they finally settle their issues when Jim says he loves her and would be a total mess without her.

Date Night

While out for dinner and a movie, Jim loses a parking spot, and later loses Cheryl when he can't let go of it.

Birthday Boys

It's Kyle and Andy's birthday, and Andy is feeling a little left out of his own special day. They decide to take him to a restaurant that serves a 4,5 lbs steak, and Jim offers to pay for the check because Cheryl isn't feeling equal to Dana, who's spending a lot of money on their kids. On the table, Dana says she doesn't mind paying the check because she makes more money than Jim, which enfuriates him. He buys a donkey for the girls so they can know he's the one they should go to if they want stuff (in this case, they wanted a poney, but "they'll never know the difference"), and it isn't until the donkey ruins a painting Dana bought for Kyle's room that they talk it out and settle their issues.

The Receipt

When the new DVD player breaks, Jim must find the receipt in order to exchange it. He can't find it anywhere and blames Cheryl of losing it. She says he was the one who lost it, and in order to "win" the fight, Jim buys another DVD player and tells Cheryl he exchanged the broken one. Later, Dana shows up with the receipt, in which Cheryl wrote her a recipe, and Cheryl - after realizing it was her fault after all - burns it. They get into a fight but soon decide to drop the point scoring and just be happy again.

Old Friends

Jim has a run-in with an old friend from his wild and crazy days who is now a cop. Jim sets out to prove he's not an 'old married guy' by staying out all night and partying. Unfortunately, this has bad consequences for both of them...

Cheryl's Day Off

Jim agrees to take the girls for the day while Cheryl and Dana go to a doctor's appointment. At the park, Jim leaves the girls with another mom and goes to the movies... where he's busted by Cheryl. Things go from bad to worse when he tries to retrieve the kids and can't remember who he left them with.

No Surprises

Jim plans a surprise party for Cheryl's birthday, but gets angry and cancels it when Dana spills the beans. To make it up to him, Cheryl plans a party for him... but he's too busy bowling to show up.